Stuck in the middle…

Lately I’ve been torn trying to choose between my Gi and my boxing gloves…

I don’t have the time a day to train it all, I wanna learn it al, do it all, but I balance it all around my work schedule. I was going back and forth as well with going back to my old gym and staying at the new one where I’m training right now, even if I never go pro I still like what I do, that is for certain, but where do I get the attention I need?

If I’m thinking about actually competing I can’t go back to being just another face in the crowd, and unfortunately at Entram that is what I am, I’m not one of their pro fighters, but I do get some attention, I just need one on one learning, even tough I’d love to go back to my friends and coach I’m not sure that’s where I’ll get the attention I need.

As far as my boxing goes I’m more than happy at Chakal, “Mantecas” (an actual retired mexican boxer that has fought big names like Marques and others) gives me one on one training and I’m not shy to  say that I have improved a lot in this short month, so I ask my self can’t I just do the same for my jiujitsu? I have no issue with taking classes with a lot of people but I’ve come to realize that there’s stuff in my technique that no one called me out on doing them wrong, or in a different way.
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I’m not blaming my former gym for this and I knew that it would take me some time to achieve a blue belt but this weekend it hit me. As some as my long time readers would know I was working towards being my Gyms first blue belt woman, this past weekend another girl had the honor of becoming the first blue belt, so I pondered…

It’s almost going to be two years for me training there, only being allowed to do jiujitsu to focus on my training, since my sensei doesn’t want me to train kickboxing or anything else for now, so why am I still a 1 stripe white belt?

I know dedication, time spent at the gym and a lot of other factors count, and even if I where to be a white belt for the rest of my life I would still be doing this now, I know guys that take up to 3 or 4 years to earn a blue belt, but at a “half way there” check point shouldnt I be closer than 1 stripe? and that’s my point again, its hard to compete for attention among pros, like a small girl among giants.

Everybody earns their belt at their own time and they are always worthy of it, I’m happy that she got her belt, she’s been doing this a little longer than I have, but why do I feel so far behind then? I need to come to peace with knowing that it will take me time to earn my stripes, and look further than just the gyms that are close to my area, maybe I should pay the Gracie’s a couple of visits a week, I need to think further than where I’m comfortable training and with my friends, I need to think about my training like I was going to college.
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We never know how the first days of our training will go, I chose Entram because its one of the best gym in town and there a lot of pro fighter coming out of that gym, but I’m no where close to leaving my job to train full-time, and sometimes that step is what keeps you from being taken seriously, almost two years into my training now I’m sure I like this, you may not see me in the UFC anytime soon but I wanna step up my game maybe do more tournaments and since I’m not able to train 8 hrs a day I think its safe to say that I do need someone to train me personally.

So for now… we are Hiring in the BJJ department, LOL.

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